Malayna Hope ~ born March 22, 2011
I could not be any more thrilled to be the mommy of two beautiful and unique kiddos. Our adjustment into parenting two little ones is going much better than we anticipated. Malayna is the most content baby, eating and sleeping most of the day. She loves snuggling into our chests, hearing Jesus Loves Me, and listening to her big brother run around like a crazy man! Honestly, when I think of how the Lord blesses us with gifts, this is completely over the top. He's outdone Himself once again.
The c-section was much more difficult this time. For some peculiar reason, the spinal block was not enough to numb me from pain. My doctor did several "feel tests", and I pretty much failed all of them. The anesthesiologist gave me an additional local in my IV and said if it didn't work, then I would have to be put to sleep. At first it seemed to work, but about five minutes into the surgery, I felt pain. Not pressure, mind you. Pain. Ouch. It hurt. All of the sudden I started panicking. The doctor asked if I wanted her to proceed or put me to sleep. What? How am I supposed to make a rational decision when you're doing what you're doing? I'll spare you all the details! Thankfully, Matt was right by my side as I started to cry. I couldn't think clearly. Can you blame me? I was pumped full of all kinds of intense drugs. But, I gathered myself as best I could and decided to press on. I wanted to be awake when my baby girl entered the world. Matt reassured me that my hope is in Him. How I needed so desperately to hear those words. As soon as I stared to calm down, the pain ceased. About 10 minutes later, Malayna Hope entered the world.
Now we're home and things are settling down as I recover and we learn how to parent two children. In my heart, I feared this new phase of life for all of us would be hard to handle. Of course we'll have good times and bad times, highs and lows. I feared having post-partum depression and did not want to ever feel that way again. I prepared my heart by reading Scripture cards and praying about particular issues. I prayed that if my hormones did not cooperate, that I would still hope in Him and believe He has a good plan. For He is sovereign and knows precisely what we need. As Beth Moore aptly states it, "God promises us a good plan, not a painless plan." I embrace His plan because no matter what the world or my flesh speak to me, His plan is redemptive, good, and righteous.
The Lord is faithful and attentive to our prayers. He promises to draw near to those who draw near to Him. I pray that you believe and embrace His truth in your own life no matter the circumstance. I pray that for myself as well. He certainly taught me a lot about trust this past week; He reminds me to always fix my eyes on Him.
"Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God."
(Psalm 43:5 - I read this the night before Malayna was born.)
